Photoset reblogged from with 157 notes
Sir Thomas Sharpe
he is drowning
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
NOW IN HD!!
1. Open Calculator
2. Type in your birthday as MM * DD * YYYY
3. Copy the resulting number into Google Image Search
4. Click on Search Tools, Type, and choose Animated
5. From the top row of results, save whichever gif you want to loop on a small LCD screen embedded in your future tombstone
6. Reblog and add the image
Post reblogged from with 330,837 notes
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
since I’m 18 now I had to call the hospital myself to get test results and I was simply planning on saying that I had a blood test last week and if I could get the results back but when the woman answered I said “I want my blood back” and hung up the phone, so I’m never trying that again
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
'kuvira is such a naz-'
gently covers your mouth
Dani and Billy from Hocus Pocus. I love how Billy kept her safe within the salt circle :3
Page 1 of 669